Tuesday, November 16, 2021

The Foggy World of Misplaced Righteousness

Yesterday I was hungry -- somewhat late taking my nap -- had run short of romaine so had a smaller salad than usual -- thought, “after all, these bananas are smaller than usual -- and so I after having my “snack,” my banana and ¼ cup of peanuts, I had a second banana and a second ¼ cup of peanuts.

I’ve gone back and forth in my mind about whether this counts as a “binge.” If the defining characteristic of a binge is eating off-regimen, and engaging in self-deception (how exactly did the size of the bananas justify the extra peanuts?), then it was a binge. But if the defining characteristic of a binge is eating treats uncontrollably -- not being able, for a certain period of time, to recover even the intention of staying on regimen -- then it was not. I’ve decided that I’ll choose not to call it a binge or record it as such, for the rather unrespectable reason that chasing the record of “bingeless days” seems to motivate me to stay on program, and setting that counter back to zero would be discouraging. It’s paltering, maybe. We’ll see. If it encourages us actually to do more of the same behavior, then it will have been the wrong choice. But the decision is made: yesterday counts as my eighteenth bingeless day. Ipse dixit.

I believe the largest contributor to my lapse was that Martha asked me to buy chocolate ice cream -- a treat we don’t usually keep in the house -- and I was working not to cave in to eating it. This translated, in the foggy world of misplaced righteousness where all these decisions take place, as having earned the right to a minor indiscretion. Earned? Right? Good Lord. Save us from this sort of juvenile moral arithmetic. What has all that to do with eating the way I want to eat?


Bathwater said...

It does not sound like a binge to me. Sometimes we have to listen to our bodies. Also, the changing season seems to change what I need. I felt hungry yesterday, but I do not see any adverse effects from eating extra.

susie @ persimmon moon cottage said...

I do not think that was a binge.

With me , the weather and season really make a difference in my appetite. In summer when it's hot and humid, it is so much easier to not binge or to completely skip meals sometimes. In fall and winter, I am starving all of the time and I want calorie laden foods. I have hunger like I will be living outdoors. I wonder if it is chemical DNA thing, or an emotional issue. I imagine that if someone ever bothered to check, they could find differences in our body chemistry coinciding with the various seasons.