desiree

the dogs
are enormous

the biggest lollops up onto the bed
taking up most of it
to keep a bit of an eye on me
from the tie-dye coverlet
but mostly
he naps

my fingers find their way
through the dreads
to the soft shell
of muscle
above the ears

o how i love you
desiree

you were nervous, you said
and i tried to put you at ease but
you know
i'm no good at that until
the laying on of hands

astonished again
at love that wants nothing
that rises
from somewhere else
that uses my hands
and leaves me
inexplicably
content

i who am always wanting
always needing
wanting and needing nothing.

then you curl up on the sofa
like a child
i feel so good
you say

and of course i do not say
how much i love you desiree

because we have no language
in which to say that
without saying also
belong to me
so i say i'm so glad
and join my hands
namaste

and then i let
the slightly less
enormous dog
win our tug of war
for a soggy toy
and i leave
having loved perfectly
and wanting nothing

o how i love you
desiree