Saturday, March 30, 2013

The Moon in the Wrong Place

In the main, I'm glad to be done with pretend-friends, and to be allowed to get on with my life, such as it is. But today the bitterness wells up, surprisingly strong. The third full night's sleep since the time change: a full moon setting, improbably, in the southwest: the air thick with other creatures' seed: that's enough to explain it, maybe. Spring has always been an unhappy season for me. I find myself laboriously working through unconvincing justifications for my own behavior, and for others': surely I'm old enough to know better. We all seem poor, sorry creatures to me, surprised by the brilliant light of Spring. We go on pawing the leavings, sucking on long-unmarrowed bones, telling over our wealth of broken shells.

Peace. Old, unhappy, far-off things: why bother? Still, the heart has gone out of me, somehow. I am only a disgruntled ape who failed in his bid for alpha, and leaves his band in pique: and yet I don't have the strength of mind to really see it that way. I only cling to the fantasy: even then we could have fixed it, we could have made it well; but our courage failed, severally and as a group.

I shake my slow, thoughtful, orangutan head and pull my way into the trees, as deliberate as a sloth. I think it's simpler than that. I fought for dominion, and I lost, that's all. Why complicate it? And now I have to make the best of exile. Which has its consolations. I can make my nest where I please, and keep my long slow thoughts to myself.

But the moon, the moon in the wrong place. That troubles me.

11 comments:

NT said...

No one who is loved as you are has ever truly lost.

Zhoen said...

Wherever the moon is, is the right place.

Dale said...

Meanwhile, on Facebook:

Dale Favier: Thanks dears! Don't be alarmed. They're just feelings, gone as quick as they come. xoxo

Sage Cohen: Writing is the best transportation through...oxoxo

Dale Favier: It is, indeed xo

Jessamyn Smyth: And writing is the best resonance for the rest of us, too. It makes bridges allowing access both in and out of any feeling's country.

Rouchswalwe said...

The moon escaped the scraping branches of a sycamore last night and sailed deep into the southwest.

Lucy said...

That was exactly what I needed to read here and now. The best resonance, as Jessamyn says.

Elisa said...

THAT was an awesome wallow!!! I haven't laughed so hard at myself in ages, ok, maybe it was just yesterday ;)

Dale said...

Nothing like a good wallow to clear the sinuses :-) I went on to a happy & productive day.

John Dearing said...

People just don't get it. I've lived in the same area for over 30yrs. I can say without a doubt that the not only the position of moon has somehow changed but also the sun. The main street I travel down to approach the street I live on during the sun set has not been moved fact. The sun while setting used to set almost directly dead center of the road making driving into the sun glare not a pleasant experience. The sun now although still setting in the west is now in my approximation setting farther to the northwest it is no longer in the center of the street while goin down. Noone seems to be able to explain this.

Unknown said...

The moon is in the wrong place tonight, it's still to the left of my house when by now at 12.02am it should be to the right of my house

Brett Ripley said...

The moon is way off tonight and it's moving noticeably fast. I understand orbit but this is a huge difference. 6/24/2016 12:58 a.m.

Brett Ripley said...

The moon is way off tonight and it's moving noticeably fast. I understand orbit but this is a huge difference. 6/24/2016 12:58 a.m.