Sunday, September 02, 2012

Embarrassing the Dog

Of 'shunning Men and Women' - they talk of Hallowed things, aloud - and embarrass my Dog

I'm pretty sure Emily Dickinson would have disliked me: I don't do it slant enough, and I would certainly have embarrassed her dog. Sorry, Emily.

I spoke when I should have been silent, yesterday. Tried to talk to a client about different ways of approaching chronic pain. It was the wrong time and I used the wrong words, and it was probably counterproductive, not to mention probably losing me a client. I've been reproaching myself steadily ever since. Of course, there were probably twenty times yesterday that I should have spoken and did not, but I don't get my face rubbed in the consequences of that.

Another broken night, awake at 2:30, filling in the time doing laundry (there is always laundry to do, if you're a massage therapist.) Light is beginning to show in the bands of sky between slats of the blinds, though the streetlight is still on. I might try getting a little more sleep. It's still an hour or two before anyone will wander down to open up a restaurant. It will be broad daylight by then, but you odd people will all still be in your beds, dreaming through the daytime. How do you do it?


Zhoen said...

Sleep is where I am safe. Even as a child, once I got through the prodromal terror, the other side was peace and silence, where my Guardian Angel watched over me. I feared while wide awake, and longed to be back asleep.

If you lost a client for something you said, then that person needs someone else anyway. Speak and let the truth be known.

marly youmans said...

The oddest of all: teenagers and people early in their 20's, who can sleep all the day if not awakened.

The people in my life who I really couldn't talk to about chronic pain (if I were to magically become a massage therapist) are the ones who have some other sort of issue that gets in the way. You know what I mean!

Murr Brewster said...

How many more times I've let my trap open and regretted it, than the opposite? I know what I can control (nothing, especially my mouth). So the chips fall, and people either sweep through them or they don't. I wouldn't have had anything to say about chronic pain, because I don't know anything. I did watch it in someone I loved more than any other. She listened to everybody, though. So you never know, until you know. Onward!

Lucy said...

You can't embarrass a dog, they spend half their lives licking their own bottoms. Mind you, if we could do that we probably wouldn't need massage therapists.

Every time I think I must by now have taken myself out of harm's way enough not to have those mortifying mouth moments, I manage it again! I think death will be the only complete cure for them, but it's a bit drastic.

I like waking up, saying hello to the light, closing my eyes and seeing how it's changed when I open them again. I sometimes regret abandoning larkish habits, but not enough to resume them.